Knelt at the edge of my bed, hands in customary prayer position, I begin my confession, “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned...” What exactly am I guilty of?, you may ask. Apart from not being a Christian, I've been mouthing off about my so-called fellow veggies again. Accustomed to such rantings, us veggies are not as placid as we might appear. My latest tirade reaching unprecedented heights.
Who is in my line of fire? Veggies who fall off the wagon that's who. Snippets of one too many foodie shows increasing my disgust. The highlight, veggies failing the ultimate test. Their golden ticket – a pretty piece of flesh. A tasty morsel waved under their nose and popped in their mouth. No access denied or an admission of guilt. A “hmmm, tastes good” the only words to escape from their lips. The presenters unconcealed delight that another veggie has returned to the fold. A black sheep in their midst.
The studio audience rippling with laughter at the idea that a meaty mouthful somehow doesn't count. A baby again - spoon fed, accompanied with obligatory choo-choo noises and an “open wide”, only this time in adult guise. These dainty bites proving irresistible to even the most ardent veggie. Fresh faced newbies tripping up I can understand. Making the decision to go veggie is easy, following through the difficulty. I fail to grasp however why veggies of some years standing are so easily swayed. What makes these otherwise competent individuals turn their back on a philosophy they once held dear?
The temptation of meat can prove too much for some. Previously untried meats a sinful treat to be chewed, swallowed and critiqued. Untapped meat markets persuading eco-veggies this is the future. The environmentally friendly solution. Wild animals roaming free ripe for the kill. A dollop of red sauce to enhance the flavour. Ketchup or not, the fact is plain – with meat comes murder. Farming in one form or another an inevitable result of consumer demand. Others are naturally born carnivores, for whom a full vegetarian diet doesn't suit. I respect that and applaud their efforts, but wish the veggie name hadn't been adopted in vain. Fuelled only by positive connotations. Hypocrisy, a vegetarian nightmare, breeding misconception and contempt. Implying that vegetarianism is a whimsical phase, a veg-life crisis.
Easily swayed a new veg craze? That sought-after golden ticket? I shudder at the thought.