Thursday, 27 June 2013

The Evening Star

'Every evening it was there steadfast...' Celeste read this line, as she had done countless times, gazing at her evening star. It shone intently and seemed to watch her as she gazed through her window. Its glow occasionally winked in a visible form of Morse Code: Everything's okay, I'm here. Every evening it tried to cast this consolatory spell, but tonight Celeste cried bitterly.
She had remembered she had volunteered and now she didn't want to be here. She didn't want to be human. The evening star she had longingly gazed at for so many years was her Home. Woken up to this fact she wanted to go back and be with her Galactic family. The human life tested her. She had struggled to integrate, to mix, to fit in, but when instead she chose not to conform, this decision made life harder, not easier. She'd engaged in an internal war on herself, but now she understood why she wanted out.
What good have I done here?” She lamented. 'Why did you let me remember?”
She sank to her knees and did something she'd never done before, she prayed, not to Our Father, but to Our Fairest Star in the Heavens:
Our Fairest Star in the Heavens, please help me. I, your faithful daughter have tried to perform my duty, but I'm failing. Guide me, show me the way. Namaste.”
She rose slowly to her feet, glanced once more at her evening star, and tugged the curtains across, although she knew she would continue to sit in darkness. Tonight she didn't want to see her own shadow. She wiped the dampness from her cheeks with the edge of a tea towel and sat down on the floor cross-legged, propping her back against the sofa. She rubbed her forehead to release the pent-up tension, 'I'll close my eyes just for a minute.' She thought. As her eyelids flicked down, her life began to flash before her.
Celeste was paralysed, taken aback by this movie reel which played over and over. She saw herself volunteering before the Star Council and the moment she'd walked into this bodily vehicle: another soul had kept it warm until she had agreed to take it over. Her memory of who she really was wiped out, replaced by already-formed human memories. As Celeste, she reviewed the obstacles she had overcome: the personal struggles, the harsh words and the unkind behaviour, and when she too had shown rough demeanour. But she also saw the kindnesses performed for her and how her actions had unwittingly touched others.
With her mind, she found she could rewind, fast forward, press play or pause. She could relive conversations, observe her actions and listen to the words she had spoken or privately thought. She learnt she had mastered the first part of her mission: she had overcome obstacles in the human condition and was ready to 'wake up.'
As the screen went dead, she opened her eyes, unfurled herself from her seated position, and draw back the curtain to peer out. The evening star was still there, steadfast, and now communicated to her telepathically: Celeste, go forward with this new knowledge. Become an inspiration to others. Complete your mission.