A professor's pregnant wife was sucked into the TV on Wednesday night whilst she was cooking supper: boil-in-the-bag-cod in a white parsley sauce with green beans and new potatoes.
husband of that pregnant wife read his own story in black and white,
the black words swimming before his spectacled eyes on the white
paper. How had it got into the local rag? How was the female reporter
able to be so precise about their meal for that evening?
matter? Yes, he decided it did.
been careful not to tell anyone about that Wednesday night, not even
his parents or closest colleagues. The fact that somebody knew what
went on in his kitchen irked him more than his pregnant wife
disappearing on him. He hadn't even realised she was gone until he
heard tapping coming from inside the TV screen. And there she was,
her swollen figure smiling and waving at him. She'd blown him a kiss
and then waddled off down the residential, tree-lined avenue.
are you going?” He'd shouted, knocking frantically on the outside
of the domed screen.
kept on walking and in his panicked attempts to find an opening into
the television he'd inadvertently pulled the plug. The picture had
flickered, then instantly died, and when he got it back on all he got
was the credits to Eastenders. The other channels were showing their
programmes as scheduled according to the Radio Times.
always felt she'd had a weird bond with that pre-colour television.
She'd refused when they'd moved into a three-bedroomed house to get
rid of it. She'd said she liked viewing life in different shades of
whites, greys and blacks. It took her back to her childhood when
she'd often imagined what it would be like to live in a world without
colour. She said you could guess from the ashen shades what colours
people were wearing or the tone of their hair or flesh. It was fun
like choosing crayons to colour in a picture.
should have disposed of it, said he'd broken it and it couldn't be
repaired. In hindsight, that's what he should have done. He should
have recognised the pregnant signs of her heightened interest over
the last six months. They did say the surge of hormones scrambled a
woman's brain, and that much by now was obvious.
newspaper article went on...
to our source, the wife has not tried to contact her husband since
she walked away, however doctors are concerned that as this is her
first pregnancy she may suffer complications. They advise her,
wherever she is, to seek shelter and medical attention as soon as
the time of going to print, the professor remains silent on the
subject of his missing wife and unborn son.
was really incensed. Where had they got this stuff from?! What
source? He'd wring the neck of whoever it was if he ever found out
who was spying on him. They'd made him out to be some kind of cold,
uncaring monster, although he supposed some professors of physics did
give that impression, but he hadn't thought until now that he was one
they seriously think she'd upped and left him? He didn't believe
that, she'd come back to him when she was ready. And if she didn't?
Well he didn't own her. He wasn't a person who made grand romantic
gestures, he was rational, but she knew that when she married him.
situation he found himself in really so unusual? Surely not enough to
warrant this intrusion. Why was it people in today's age still
failed to grasp the principles of quantum physics? Anything that
seemed strange could be explained with these mechanics.
aside the paper and switched on the telly, and as if to prove his
point the monochrome picture rearranged its pixels into a close-up
shot of his wife contentedly cradling her belly.