The
King is coming... The King is coming home... Up and down the streets
this news was passed along like Chinese Whispers, whispered from
house to shop, and between lovers friends and neighbours, until it
got tweeted and it became a lion's roar: THE
KING OF LEFTOVERS IS COMING HOME! The
local paper even printed an inside guide on how to prepare for his
return. People planned their meals and only bought what they needed;
they used up or froze anything edible or composted it; while others
new to loving food and hating waste wrote questions down to ask him.
Excitement soared as the big day drew nearer and the posters pasted
everywhere declared his imminent arrival.
With
one day to go, roads were closed, bunting was strung, and collapsible
tables and chairs were unfolded. Shops donated their discarded food
and volunteers set up their stretch-food-more stalls. Anticipation
hung in the air like the delicious smell of baking bread. Appetites
whetted, many people didn't want to go home and camped out that
starry night. People gathered round blazing bins and sang, played
instruments or told stories, only retiring to line the processional
streets with their sleeping bags and woolly hats.
For
these devotees, the big day began with the King's Golden Tip:
leftover-made soup in a mug, and anyone that camped was not allowed
to refuse, to choose to go hungry. Breakfast, as the King said, was
not a meal to be skipped. By ten o'clock, the crowd had swelled and
been whipped up to a feverish pitch. “We want the King!” “We
want the King!” They chanted, but soon grew quiet at the sound of
distant tom-toms. A fevered whisper of “He's coming!” rippled
through the throng.
Two
tom-tom beaters appeared at the top of the high street, with the
King's tall, masculine figure dribbling a basketball behind them. He
had dressed for his home crowd on this special occasion: his chef hat
upright on his head and in a singlet with baggy shorts and trainers,
and with both his biceps tied with a band of banana leaves. He
confidently dribbled the ball and shot a few hoops at the baskets
strategically placed en route. The crowd whooped as he scored and
cheered even more when he gave his basketball away to a wide-eyed
boy.
The
King high-fived hands until he reached his outdoor cooking station,
where he rattled his pots and pans like Ainsley Harriott as he made
his signature dish: Banana Skin Curry. Volunteers dispersed tasters
in tupperware with leaflets of the recipe, and as they supped the
King talked. He began by thanking them for their support, and briefly
touched on the success of his UK tour along with his appearances on
TV. He said he was on the road to driving the message home: Love
Food, Hate Waste, but he had a long way to go. As the crowd listened,
rapt by his speech, they observed he had the passion of a Jamie
Oliver or a James Martin, and that he too was a force to be reckoned
with.
When
the applause died, a orderly queue formed for people to meet the King
and put to him their leftover questions directly. Some had even
brought bags filled with stale bread and over-ripe fruits, and with
each he patiently explained a nugget of his Food Waste Philosophy. He
made children laugh, encouraging them to try new foods and let them
help him in demonstrating another one of his recipes. He visited
stalls and talked to shop-keepers, students, and parents; all those
who believed in him and supported his campaign.
As the
street party came to an end, he held up his hand with a firm “Hush”
to the crowd, and imparted a last piece of his wisdom: Keep in mind
that leftover food is like poetry. It feeds your mind, body and soul,
you should not waste it.