When
I was a boy, an old native Indian gave me a horse's head. A tiny
silver charm, that fitted neatly into my palm, and was inscribed with
these words on the back: Horse...
Give Me Power.
It's
long gone now; it disappeared many years ago on the first part of the
journey. The sun burnt a hole in my trouser pocket, just wide enough
for two of my fingers to wiggle through, and so I imagine the horse's
head dropped onto the sand, or bounced off a hill or a rock. Although
lost to me now, I've never forgotten the rough feel of it. By touch
alone you could make out the horse's head: short jagged points were
its mane, a slight bump was its forehead, a round tip was its nose
and mouth, a strong curve its powerful neck, and a protruding lump
the turquoise stone set in its throat. It was about the size of a
standard fifty-pence piece, only thinner.
I
thought it was girlish, but I held on to it anyway; I never shown it
to anyone, not even my younger sisters. I carried it in my trouser
pocket and began to hang about the Indian. He kept a tin shack as a
native American shop on a piece of London wasteland, which now I
think back was strange in itself, but as a kid you accept these
things. He was ancient with braided silver hair and leathery skin -
his cheeks were as creased as a parched desert - and he dressed
casually in a shell suit with a pair of worn moccasins. He said to
call him King, but I've no idea if this was his name or not, and his
shop was a mishmash of feather headdresses, toy bows and arrows,
dream-catchers and animal skins. He never seemed to have much custom
being kinda off the beaten tourist track.
The
barren land in front of his shack was like a parking lot. He owned a
gold Ford Cortina, a pale orange Avenger and a white imported
Mustang, although none of them were taxed or roadworthy. We'd lean
against their hoods or sit on the narrow strip of asphalt, he in a
hide-upholstered armchair and me on a wooden stool, and pow-wow about
all sorts of things from weird dreams we'd had to lessons of
survival. I learned a lot in those years, including how to drink and
smoke.
Then
one day I turned up as randomly as ever and King, and mostly
everything about him, had disappeared. His tin shack stood empty and
all his cars were gone. I thought perhaps he'd got ill, or died or
finally been moved on by the council. I sat in his abandoned
armchair, smoking a little weed and knocking back the cans of
Foster's I'd brought him. I fumbled the horse's head and must have
fallen asleep in my inebriated state as the sun was going down. A hot
breath disturbed my comatose. At first I thought it was just a sultry
breeze, but then there came another short puff with a snort. I
cautiously opened my eyes and found to my surprise a pair of
cavernous nostrils flaring at me. In fright, I jumped onto the seat
of the armchair to be eye level with 'IT'.
The
'IT' was a dappled grey stallion with a thick platinum blonde mane
and tail, and which seemed to me taller than your average equine
breed. The horse positioned itself sideways on and impatiently
stamped its front right hoof, Get on! Get on! I hoisted myself
against its side and swung my leg over its bare back. I squeezed my
thighs and we took off, with me clinging perilously to its strong
neck.
The
land shimmered ahead as you imagine it would in a desert heat wave. In
this dream-like place, it was blisteringly hot and the horse kicked
up dust from the ground, but the air was a cornucopia of sound. Birds
chirped and insects buzzed all around. I lost track of time as if my
body was alive, but had gone underground. Perhaps it was an just for
an hour or for days... I threw myself off when the desert turned to
sea and let the horse run free. I blacked out as the ocean licked my
face, only to find myself slumped, back in the now vacant parking
lot, over a rocking horse that resembled my anonymous steed.
*Inspired by song of same
title written by Dewey Bunnell and originally recorded by America