By
second chances I mean opportunities perhaps missed or not taken up
that come around again, or those that were tried and failed. The
problem with 'do-overs' is the past doesn't stay in the past. It's
always there, forming a part of your history. You might be different,
the circumstances in which the offer or opportunity has again
reoccurred might be altered, but still there's always the last time
to think of. And if it failed then, what's to say it won't fail
again. Or even that the first time can be improved upon.
So
you work harder, yes, but that can be a strain and cause ructions.
And anyhow I believe, as I've said, there's less of a forward flow in
second times; there will always be a harking back or a falling into
old patterns. Some things are better left: left where they ended or
where they didn't, for whatever reason, happen. Another go may only
reinforce what came before or prove what you already knew to be true.
And
yet let's be honest I'm making this up as I go along because you
don't know when second chances will occur and when they do how you
will react. Second chances are impulsive, to be snatched at or flung
away. They very rarely come a third time, but in that moment there's
very little time for consideration. The decision is made and
ruminated upon after, or when it has again all gone awry.
I
really couldn't tell you, with any surety, what I'd do if a second
chance came along right now. I might lap it up; I might slap it down.
I might dismiss it cruelly; I might accept it with unconcealed
pleasure. There's no telling.
I
would be worried about my own failure however. And I would feel the
pressure of getting it right. That worry and that pressure would
start instantly, and would shortly be followed by lots of inner
questioning and possibly a resurfacing of the same old doubts. Second
chances are, for me, red herrings, leading down paths trod, or almost
trodden, when really what I should be doing is looking in (and then
going) another direction. A second coming of people, of offers are
not necessarily there to be taken but to again be refused. They are
meant to seduce, yet there's strength in resisting, in turning away
and in recognising that whatever it is that's come again is now not
right for you. Perhaps it never was and so the decision you
originally made, that may have since plagued you, is a plague no
more. Your blinded eyes are blind no more. You're done. With feeling
regret, remorse or guilt, if those were felt.
But
similarly a second chance shouldn't be counted upon. It may not come.
What's done is done. And if, by luck, it does come you may regret it
came. Words from the wise to the unwise, although none of us are wise
in such circumstances when something has again reappeared for us to
take, to sample, to redo.
It's
the glass half-full, half-empty riddle. In a way. Your view of second
chances depends on your attitude to life with its joys and
adversities. For myself, half of anything seems too fortunate, and
creates confusion within, so my glass is either full or empty; there
are no half-measures. It's either all in or all out. Because a second
chance is really just another opportunity to stuff up or end on a
worse note than before. Though if the latter does occur maybe that
note of finality was required. That door now firmly closed; no
wonderment remaining. A fresh chapter can begin, where you're less
likely to be blown off course and where new patterns will emerge
which will be more in tune with the you of now than the you of
yesterday. Second chances are a returning to, a revisiting, and
should in, my view, only be accepted if you strongly feel the first
opportunity was, and has been since, sorely missed.
Picture credit: Emblemata Dice, M. C. Escher (source: WikiArt).
Written in November 2019.
