Each of us, I think I can safely say, thinks that everyone else's life is far more exciting than our own; that things happen all the time to other people, whereas all that happens to them is the status quo. The same continuation of old, or if not old then the new is not the right kind. It's not the kind to shake up a life or to make others go 'Wow!' Genuinely.
effort has been required to get that 'Wow!' then it's the not same as
someone who has had things happen to them with no effort, no input at
all. Because sheer effort produces different endorphins and lacks the
'Oh my God' effect. It's less fairy tale and more
determination-based. There are some that put in God knows how much
effort and get nowhere at all; there are others that want a quiet
life but are still hopeful unbelievable things will happen, that
adventures will come unbidden to upset their humdrum life. These
others aren't risk adverse they just don't know how to create or even
if they'd be willing to go on a ride should anything magically
appear. An amazing offer could land in their lap, and yet although it
might have been hoped or longed for they'd still be torn between it
and their comfortable shell. Caution would not be thrown to the
winds, however dull their existence seemed. The dullness in itself,
they realise, is a comfort.
life really is made up of repetitive tasks. Just think of anything
you do day in, day out, possibly without being wholly conscious as
it's that ingrained. Scary isn't it? when you begin to think of it
like that, when you begin to look at life that way. Teeth get
brushed, the clothes and face get put on, breakfast is eaten, the bed
made etc. and so on. Mondays and Tuesdays you're here, Wednesdays
you're there, Thursdays you're off, Fridays you see so-and-so, and at
weekends you shop for the week ahead. When you begin to think in
those terms isn't everyone's life, to a degree, regimented? And how
any of us really do spontaneity? And I mean completely and
whole-heartedly because there's always something to stop us. Usually
what that something is not finances, it's a responsibility that
doubles as an excuse, such as putting out the bins or an animal, or
even the fact the trip is unplanned or, its opposite, needs planning.
When you've managed without holidays and have grown used to a set
routine, the mere thought of doing anything different or differently
halts making arrangements to, for the world seems huge and the whole
idea unfathomable. Too stressful, even, and not worth getting
yourself worked up over.
then who's at fault? The person leading the unexciting life or how we
collectively measure life and what each of us do with it? Is it
just the nature of life: there's those that grab and those that sit
back, and some that have all the luck as they say?
think researchers would tell you that the majority of lives are
uneventful, or that any adventures if had are brief and everyone
somewhere down the line experiences monotony, be it short or long in
months or years. And even possibly those that have had more than
their fair share, be it of their own doing or chance, would prefer a
less tumultuous life, though I think you'll find if circumstances
bring that about they like it very little.
is not easily achieved whichever way you naturally lean, but then
your mood in regard to it is not constant either which seems unfair
when life considered as a whole can appear too rushed or too slow,
too filled or too empty, especially if the choice doesn't feel as
though it was ever presented. Some people are better at rolling with
whatever unfolds and some people aren't; some people like everything
in their control and therefore retreat when an unexpected event fails
to meet their exacting criteria, whilst those who aren't energised by
or shy of life take a philosophic view where anything that occurs is
measured as living.
must be a nice view to have, a nice way to be, for I presume in that
place there's no second guessing. Everything's how it's meant to be
whether you personally had a hand in it or not. And so, I've reached
the conclusion that it must be a perceptual attitude, one that's
either with you from birth or attaches itself to you at some point,
because in my thirties I've been far more successful at shutting
life out than letting it in.
Picture credit: Loneliness, 1970, Alice Neel, National Gallery of Art, Washington D.C.